Beerfest.

Last night was International Beer Fest at the bosses house. Oh boy. It was fantastic. Its amazing how one little barley based beverage can bring people together all over the world… and generally give them a headache collectively the next morning as well.

I tried some pretty wild beers last night, everywhere from Poland, to Thailand and Singapore, to Holland and Denmark. Even had Sapporo and a couple other Asian beers. While a lot of them had similar tastes, some of them definitely did not. The one beer I had from Poland was quite possibly like drinking anti-freeze. It was rough. I got through most of it, but, it was not good.

Got me to thinking while I was there; sipping on beer from around the world, thinking about what people were doing in their country where this beer was brewed… Its amazing how we share a planet, yet our lives are so different and the same. We work, we eat, we sleep and then we drink beer. End of the day, we’re all the same. Doing what we gotta do to get by and provide for our loved ones. I’m just glad I’m not doing what I have to do in Poland, because, their beer sucked.

Reading.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading ever since I got married. I don’t know if that is because I have more time on my hands because I don’t have to cook my own meals anymore – or if its just because my ‘pursuit of knowledge’ has finally activated itself from a dormant sleep… Either way, I’ve been doing a lot more reading and I’ve actually been really enjoying it.

I’ve found one thing: reading is like watching a movie in super slow motion. While you get the jist of what is happening, its all going be so slowly and with such suspense! I commend the amazing job that writers do to create that almost cinematic image in your brain as you read page after page… Lets see if I can captivate your mind in a similar way…

“The room was dark and eerie and it reeked of week old pizza and a hundred cow patties. There in the middle lay my prize… A brand new package of shoelaces.”

Ok, I guess my writing needs some work.

Part Store Guys.

Ok, if you work in a part store and are a really nice person, than I apologize in advance for what you are about to read. That said, the following is my personal observation of auto-part stores.

Why do I feel like an ant when I walk into these shops? First, I walk in, and the guys at the big parts desk all look at me, they don’t greet me, they just look at me… Then I walk in and cruise around trying to find what I’m looking for without having to actually go talk to the guys, because I know what’ll happen then… But, of course, can’t find what I’m looking for so I have to go to the desk. This is where it feels like I get really judged… I don’t know if it is because my clothes are clean, or because I’m a young person or maybe its simply because I don’t have a Snap-on shirt on, or because I’m wearing flip flops – but this guy looks at me like I do NOT belong in this shop. Which is possible, don’t get me wrong… But, I proceed to ask the gentleman about the products I need – he looks at me inquistly like ‘can you actually do an oil change all-by-yourself?’ Yes, I can. Thanks.

Finally I get what I’m looking for, never so much as a smile or ‘are you having a good day today’. I pay and say my thank you’s and turn to walk away. No sooner do I turn and the next guy in line walks up in his overalls and the same parts clerk “HEY! How’s it going today?” Huh! For real. Did you just greet that guy? And not so much as give me the time of day, well actually, you did give me the time of day… Just enough time to make me feel like less of a person. Thank you. Can’t wait to come back and make another purchase.

So, apparently the next big thing is guys wearing heels…

I think some guys may be taking fashion a little too far. Really?! Heels!? There are a few things in life that guys should just be happy about. They are: 1. We are able to stand up to pee. We do not need to invent anything for the ladies so that they can enjoy this luxury as well. 2. We do not need to stop and ask for directions. It is in our nature to either have a sense of direction that is accurate or “what we’re doing” – either way, we aren’t asking. 3. We are allowed to have shampoo showers. 4. We do not have to wear high heeled shoes. Our shoes have flat, comfortable soles – men, embrace this. It is a pleasure and not something we need to start messing with.

I think my point has been made. Continue buying skate shoes and steel toed boots boys, don’t let me down!

I find it amazing – as a guy who gets paid to be himself as well as entertain – that Lady Gaga gets paid to do the same thing as I do, and she gets to have a machine gun attached to her bra.

Have you seen the video for her track Alejandro? It is one of these 8 minute music videos – and when it’s an 8 minute Gaga video, you know it’s going to be Gaga. In the video, you’ll probably find your own similarities to a nightmare you experienced in your own life… But for me, it reminded me a lot of an old Wet Wet Wet video – on crack. She had male dancers in some sort of freaky fetish army apparel, has a scene where her bra is a “double barrel” machine gun and of course plenty of far out close ups of her ever changing face. She also does a whole lot of very kinky “dance moves” while wearing nothing but a bra and panties. Look, if all it takes is some freaky dance moves in your panties to become as rich and famous as she is, then could someone please send a talent scout by the Kraze beatbox studio’s between 6-10pm weeknights? Because they will see a tacky pantless DJ doing some pretty eccentric moves – and he will sign a contract today.

As we head into summer, its time to get back into the swing of eating a slurpee, everyday.

I’m an addict, I must admit. I love my slushes! Whenever I get slightly flushed in the summer heat, first thing I think of is getting my hands on an ice cold coca-cola slushy! After the first sip, life just cools off, and there is a blast of flavor to your tastebuds that is un-comparable. I’m very particular though with my slurpee selection. It has got to be one of a select few favours… Has to be Coke, Root Beer, Pepsi or nothing really… that’s it. That’s all I like. If someone from the office goes out and buys a bunch of slushes for everyone, and just does the ol’ “flavor mix” – I will casually and politely opt out of my favorite summer treat. Gotta have my coca cola!

Of course, there is times when that rule doesn’t apply. And that is when there is Ice Cream added to the slurpee to create the greatest summer

So much great stuff happening in our community this weekend and I’m stoked!

First of all, it is my fiancés stagette this weekend, so she is off to BC for that – which gives me the HOUSE to MYSELF! Ha ha, while that usually is pretty awesome, this weekend, I’m barely going to be home! Get this, Saturday; you have to head over to M&M Meats Shop 1B-2250 50 Avenue, for their annual Crohn's and Colitis Foundation BBQ. I have a cousin who has Crohn’s so this is something that I definitely hold close to me. While I really don’t know many of the affects of Crohn’s or Colitis – I do know that it can be very difficult to live with and that any money that we can raise to help find a cure is always beneficial! The BBQ will be going from 10am-4pm go check it out and let’s be honest, it’s a BBQ at M&M meats, you KNOW it will be delicious!

After you get your fill at M&M’s pop just down the road to 2310 Gaetz Ave – Computer Trends. I’ll be there from 11-3 hooking you up with screaming deals on computer, electronics and televisions. These guys rock, by the way, they have so much sweet stuff in CT – and great sales guys, not to mention better prices than anywhere I’ve seen. Pop in and see for yourself!

I’m stoked, because when I’m done doing my remote live at Computer Trends, I’m off to Rimbey to Central Alberta Raceway as they kick off the 2010 summer racing season. I love car races. The noise, the smells, the speed all of it combined is awesome. If you have never been to a car race – believe me – as a guy who actually watches NASCAR on TV – watching this stuff live is 100 times better. The live action is great, and affordable. For more info – click on  http://www.caraceways.ca/ then click on schedule. Hope to see you out there!!

Have a great weekend,

Ransom

McHappy day is McAwesome!

Just got back from the North McDonalds – working it for McHappy Day. This is such a great day for me every year. Today they celebrated their 17^th McHappy Day and I couldn’t be happier to lend a hand. McDonalds donates $1 from every Happy Meal, Big Mac or McMuffin Sandwich straight to the Ronald McDonald House, Central Alberta.  It’s a delicious way to help a kid and fill your tum-tum too!

So, we got there today, ‘the Kraze Krew’ – myself, Diesel, Rae, Quentin and boy did we rock it. Diesel was making McMuffins and Rae was working the drive-thru window. I ran the mic for a bit and took the orders in drive thru – funny that a radio guy finds the only microphone at a restaurant… It was a great time all round and it gave me a whole new realization – again – that it is not easy to work in fast food. There is so much stuff to remember and it’s even harder to focus with all the delicious FOOD around!!

Way to go McDonalds for all they did today and specifically the RADICAL staff at North McDonalds – you guys rule!

Tomorrow is McHappy DAY!

Make certain that you pop into a McDonalds tomorrow and help out the Kraze crew as we try to raise money for Central Alberta’s Ronald McDonald house – which helps children in need – fill the need. It’s a great program and what’s so cool about it, is the cash raised stays right here in our neighbourhood, helping our neighbours. There is always events happening in our community to help charities and stuff – but not always does that money stay right here – McHappy Day does.

Kwame, Quentin, Diesel, Rae and I will ALL be at the North McDonalds tomorrow from 10a-12pm to help fry up burgers, fill some drinks and salt some fries! Of course, they won’t let us deal with the cash – they leave that to the pros!

One dollar from every Big Mac, McMuffin Sandwich and Happy Meal sold will go straight to Central Alberta’s Ronald McDonald house. See ya there!!

Not the best game in game 2 from my Vancouver Canucks. But let’s be real, there was NO way that they were going to sweep the series. We needed to give Chicago at least one. Ha ha. But seriously, the Canucks, when they’re on their game – they are an elite team in this league and have a real chance to win Lord Stanley’s cup this year.

What I’m wondering about is, where did our leading scorer go? Alex Burrows had a true break out year, signed a nice contract and scored a career and team high 35 goals – but since the playoffs have started – he’s been non-existent. Apart from showing up with a couple big shot blocks on power plays – he really hasn’t been there.

Next game goes Wednesday night from Vancouver and it is going to be a gong show. After what happened the last time Van met Chi-town in the playoffs in Vancouver – this is going to be one heated affair – especially with the fans. I hope they secured the lid at GM place, because it is going to go off tomorrow!!

Tis the season for fires – but that is a NO CAN DO!!

Kind of sucks right now that in central Alberta there is a fire ban on, just as the weather becomes nice enough for us to actually HAVE fires. I am guessing the fire ban is in effect because of the prairie winds we get, but again it sucks. Please refer to www.albertafirebans.ca for all information on fire bans and whether or not they affect you.

While I do not encourage breaking the rules, nor will I, I do often ponder that if a person is responsible enough to have a certified fire pit or enclosed ceramic burner – why can’t they use them? I mean if the fire has a cover on it, it’s not 6 feet tall with flames. Sometimes I wish that common sense would be enough of a fire deterrent, but I guess I understand. Can you tell that I am sobbing right now as I type this? Campfires are probably my favorite thing to do, and, the government is holding me back! REBEL! Ha ha, no don’t. I’m just being ridiculous. Have a good night.

There‘s all this talk – yackity yackity yack. From Calgary Flames fans that still have something to say to us Canucks fans even though they didn’t make the playoffs. Sure, they love to remind us that the Flames have won a Cup – back when they were still in elementary school… But still they seem to forget that the Canucks have not only made the playoffs but have won the division 3 out of the past 4 years.

They are deep. 6 forwards with over twenty goals this year – and in the top of the league in all offensive categories. Sure, Roberto Luongo hasn’t looked his best these past couple weeks; he’s still an Olympic gold medalist and one of the most elite goaltenders in the league. As is Kipper – but let’s try to be real, he has no supporting cast.

I could go on and on, but I will digress with this statement. Until the Calgary Flames start to play golf after the Canucks – they are a far inferior team. He he. But best of luck next year of course.

CANUCKS BRING HOME THE CUP!!

PS – I should note this blog is a direct jab at a few select personal friends, but if you are a Flames fan, then maybe it’s directed at you too! Ha ha ha.

Waving Flag

That song has been the most played Canadian song on Canadian radio for about 2 months now… And just as I was starting to get a little bit tired of hearing it, they come out with a wicked version that has renewed my love for it all over again.

The new version of the song is with 57 Canadian artists who came together and according to one documentation “put their ego’s aside” for a good cause – Haiti. Of course within a group of 50 plus of the most popular and influential Canadian musicians of our time – there are bound to be a few drama’s – like fallen out marriages, broken up bands and I’m sure the occasional spat between stars – but they put that all aside for one cause. The proceeds of this song will help the people of Haiti thru the Red Cross and if you can, pick it up on iTunes to do your part.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IySBl2aq-A

While the earthquake that devastated Haiti seems to be so far in the past for us here, because we don’t see the devastation daily – we must remember that the horrible conditions continue in Haiti. Some reports say, it hasn’t improved at all since the earthquake and that people are still fighting daily for a drink of water or a cup of rice. It’s unimaginable what the poor people of that country are going through.

Think about Hurricane Katrina – still to this day entire neighbourhoods of New Orleans have yet to be repaired and rebuilt. And the US is a 1^st World country. Haiti is a 3^rd world country with very limited supplies making relief efforts difficult at best. If you can help, donations are still being accepted. www.redcross.ca

Or at least, check out this video –

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB7L1BIDELc

Ok, what is with that show Operation Repo?

 Seriously? How can anyone buy this as real!? I have never met a single person in my life that is as dramatic and unfortunate as the so-called people on that show. If you haven’t seen it, it’s on the Outdoor Life Network (OLN) every single day – check your listings. The idea behind the “reality” show is they follow around a crew that repossesses vehicles for banks.

I was watching a re-run today with a little person in it. Nothing against the little person, but the only reason you put a little person, together with Matt (who looks like a WWE wrestler), and a lady who paints on her eyebrows with a roller on car repo’s - is for drama. While the producers claim it to be “real-life stories told from an exciting and dramatic first-person perspective” – it is all that but also fake. The people in this show are just actors portraying “actual events” that happened during reposessions. And thank goodness, because seriously, how many people could possibly get their cars repo’d on their wedding day, or their graduation, or JUST as they were about to take their pet pig for a car ride. It’s just a little too unlikely.

Health, Wellness and Fries Show

My lovely fiancé and I went to the health and wellness show this weekend. She is really into being healthy and stuff, I mean, I am too, she just executes better than I do. I’m also a little sceptical – I’m not the easiest ‘sell’ when it comes to unproven theories or products. So, I can be a bit of a pain in the butt at one of these events to be honest. Ha ha. Anyways, we walked around, noticing all the cool little businesses – everything from instant teeth whitening, to these cool, natural, energy drink (ya, we bought some), they also had every kind of weight loss product under the sun and even a scanner thing for your spine to see if you were out-of-alignment! It was pretty neat all-in-all.

However, I noticed something pretty ironic during the show – there was a BOAT load of people eating unhealthy food. Chips, pop, donuts, tim-bits, huge coffee’s, chocolate bars... you name it... Now, I understand that the folks working these stands at these types of shows spend a lot of time on the road and probably don’t always have time to make a healthy meal for themselves. But you’d think if you were looking to buy a health product you could maybe, eat your fries and burger, after the show? Or maybe not slurp down a huge milkshake while inquiring about the latest in ‘fat wiggling therapy.’ And no, you should probably not buy that funky weight loss powder, sir, at least until you’re finished your poutine.

Well, first, I must apologize. If you’re one of the assumed three people that read this blog on a semi-regular basis, and have had your life come to a crashing halt for the past three weeks because you have been unable to read fresh ramblings from my mind – I’m sorry.

The reason I have left you in the dark - clinging to facebook and twitter for your random useless thoughts; is because I broke my arm. And it sucked.

First the story of the break – A friend and I made the voyage to Vancouver for the last Saturday of the Olympics and of course Gold Sunday. We finally got there after about 12 hrs in the car. Yay. The city was crazy; there were flags everywhere, wild amounts of traffic, and just a buzz in the air that really couldn’t be explained. It was electric. (Right now I’m sitting at home and Friends is on and it is the episode where they watch the grad video – it’s all sappy and Ross is going to go to prom with Rachel because her date ditched her – but ends up showing and breaking Ross’ heart - then the video ends and Rachel kisses Ross all passionately in front of the whole crew and Phoebe proclaims “I told you he was her Lobster!” – Great scene. Anyhooo.....)  So we got to the city – settled into where we would be staying for the night – a cool condo my buddy has on Granville Street, just before the bridge into downtown Vancouver. We proceeded to head out on the town – we were walking thru enormous crowds – loud music playing, people cheering, high fiving and hugging anyone and everyone, not to mention maple leafs. Maple leafs on shirts and hats, pants and faces, even girls wearing JUST flags – it was quite patriotic. We all made our way to Robson Square for the big 11pm laser show – lasers, fireworks, characters riding the zip line over the square. It was insane. Best moment of the show – when two East Indian men who had picked up their friend on their shoulders, put him down and turned to my friend Mike and said “ok, your turn random white guy” haha, it was priceless, and of course up he went, lasers flying, people cheering and Mike for a moment on top of the world, or at least on top of a couple of random guys’ shoulders.

We proceeded to the Olympic Flame – it was exactly what it looked like on TV. We met some Germans and they took our picture, then we took a picture of them, then we got someone else to take a picture of all of us. It was that kind of atmosphere. Almost like a giant rock music festival – unreal.

This is where the break happens – we had been drinking Big Gulps along the way – had to stay hydrated! However, there was a serious shortage of public facilities. Now, I am polite and not a reckless reliever, but this was urgent, so I had to make do with my surroundings – which were skyscrapers. So, I ran in behind one and found a little bush. Behind the bush was the building and windows.  And so, there I stood; doing my thang and letting my gaze wander with towards the window. Inside – a jackpot! A lunch room table filled with chips, pop and CHEETOS!  I didn’t even know they made Cheetos anymore. I was impressed none-the-less and looked a little harder... At this point we made eye contact – myself and a random woman – eating Cheetos. Startled, of course, I quickly finished up and began a light jog to catch up with my friends. It was raining and the path was made of almost a cobblestone. As I stepped down onto the slick pathway, I inevitably slipped and fell and landed very hard and awkwardly on my right arm. Instant pain made me realize I had done a douzy on it, but, it was Saturday night, of the Olympics, in downtown Vancouver. There was NO way I was going to a hospital. So, we proceeded into the night, my hand hanging in my inside pocket – keeping my arm in a “comfortable” position. And so, we partied, hit up a pub, waited in line for an hour, finally got in. Spent $7 a beer. But hey, not every day do you get to drink with people from all over the world.

The next morning brought the reality of the situation – a severely swollen elbow and lots of pain. But it was gold medal Sunday and we needed to get to a pub. 9am we showed up at an Earls in downtown Van, there was already at least 200 people in front of us. We ended up watching the game at the lobby restaurant of a Holiday Inn. All 40 of us. It was wild. I don’t have to tell you what it was like when Sid scored and we won – because it was the same everywhere in Canada I figure. So, we proceeded to Granville Street – where it was all going down. I have never seen such a large crowd in my life. I have done the ‘Red Mile’ in Calgary numerous times and it didn’t come close to the amount of people and energy that was there after that game. Still with a broken arm and a lot of pain, we decided to hit the road home. Only 13 hours in front of us and losing an hour in time change – here we go!

We made it to just past Kamloops when my friend got pulled over for speeding. It was minor; don’t worry, but a pain none the less – as my friend didn’t have the right piece of paper for his insurance. He was – for the record – completely insured, but he had just got it done and didn’t think he needed a piece of paper, but apparently he did. Unfortunately, we had to be towed because of the mind gap. So, we ended up spending the night in Chase, BC. Another night away from medical help. We made it back to Red Deer Monday evening and Wednesday I finally decided to go to the emergency room as my elbow was still huge.

Turns out I had broke my arm quite badly in the elbow (broke the end off of my radius). I was ordered into a sling for three weeks. I recently saw a surgeon and had a choice whether or not to do surgery, I opted not to, and it is slowly starting to feel better.

If you read this whole thing you are nuts. Longest piece of writing I have done in years. Good for you, and now you know, what happened to my blogs. They were lost to a war wound from the Olympics.

Alright, we all know that couple -- the one that makes us a little nauseous to be around. Yeah, the ones who call each other pet names, touch constantly, and dote over everything. Barf. Even the couple who feel it necessary to write every single love-related feeling they get – on their facebook status. Don’t even get me started about the folks who put up love poems and such on their facebook…

But, isn't that what women "want"? Isn't that the stuff of romance novels and romantic movies that they long for? Do they want us to be overt with our love and affection?

So, is it possible ... can a guy be too loving? Too attentive? Too affectionate? Is it ok to just be the nice guy? Or do you have to be a proclaimer? Is it critical to the success of a relationship to make sure that you bellow your feelings from the highest mountain so everyone can hear?

I hope not. Because I am just not really that “guy.”  Don’t get me wrong, I love my fiancé and all… but no, I’m not going to put on my facebook page a bunch of doting love letters, or write on her wall every two hours reminding her that I love her. She knows. I hope… because I haven’t twittered about it recently either.

Dirrrrty!

Ok, so no one wears underwear for a week straight, or socks for two days… heck we won’t even wear shirts for two days in a row… But yet we sleep on bed sheets and pillow cases every night and go days, weeks, MONTHS without washing them – needless to say we sleep in some pretty gross conditions.

I was reading this article about just how nasty your bed is, and let me tell ya, it is pretty nasty. You do not want to even know how many bacteria and hair and dead skin is in your bed. Apparently half a million Canadians only wash their sheets 3 times a year, with the under 25 crowd the worst for washing… While 55 plus are the cleanest.

Consider this – experts say that up to 10 percent of the weight of an unwashed pillow can be made up of dead skin and mites – with a dirty bed having about ten million bed bugs.

Experts say you should change your bedding once a week. I’m freaked right out.

Canada wins gold!

We all know that Canada as a whole – kicks some pretty serious A$$! Unfortunately for our countries athletes, they have been unable to prove that we are totally awesome on our own turf… until now!

Big congrats to Alex Bilodeau – the first Canadian to ever win Olympic gold IN Canada! I was super stoked when I heard Alex had won Sunday night… and it set in a lot more when I read an article about Alex. He has an older brother named Frederic, who has cerebral palsy. It was interesting reading about a world class athlete who dealt with something very close to the heart of many Canadians – having a handicapped family member. When asked how much of the gold metal belongs to his brother, Alex simply said “A lot.”

It’s this type of thinking that I think makes Canadians stand out. We are gracious, we are proud and we keep life in perspective. And we don’t need millions of dollars to do it… While Alex will likely get some sweet sponsorships and the few thousand dollars promised to all athletes who win gold at the 2010 games – it will pale in comparison to that of the Americans. Lindsay Vonn – the skier who has been making headlines because of some racey photo shoots over the last month – well, don’t feel bad for her; she raked in over $3 million last year! And you think that is pretty steep for a skier? Try Shaun White, the American Snowboarder – who brought in over $8 million last year and he’s only 23! Here’s to sportsmanship!

We all know that Michael Jackson was a bit of a mixed up individual… But I did NOT know that he wore a wig. Check this out – it is the autopsy report for MJ – and you may find out a couple freaky things about the prince of pop! Wild stuff…

MICHAEL JACKSON'S AUTOPSY REVEALS HE WORE A WIG

Michael Jackson's full autopsy report has been released and it reveals some interesting things about the pop star.

According to Reuters, the autopsy showed:

• Jackson had the skin pigmentation disorder vitiligo, with white patches particularly on his chest, abdomen, face and arms.

• The hair on Jackson's head was described initially by police as "sparse and connected to a wig." The autopsy revealed "frontal balding."

• On Aug 6th, a month before his burial, police went to the mortuary where his body was being held to collect hair samples for toxicology tests. The casket was described as yellow with a blue lining and Jackson was wearing a long, dark wig. "Moving the wig revealed short, dark, curly natural hair...measuring approximately one and a half inches in length."

• Jackson's body was covered with small scars on his nose, knee, shoulder, neck, wrists and behind both ears.

• A closed bottle of urine was found on a chair in the bedroom where the singer died, along with a box of catheters, disposable needles, alcohol pads, several empty orange juice bottles, a string of wooden beads and a green oxygen tank.

• He had dark tattoos near both eyebrows and a small pink tattoo near his lips.

• His body weighed 136 pounds, was 69 inches long, and was described as "thin."

The word "Wow" pretty much describes this…