People like Taylor Momsen raise some real concerns for me when it comes to having kids.  Look what happened to her in just 10 years.

2000 She was Cindy Lou Who for Pete's sake!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2010 Yikes.

I hate texting.  There, I said it.  I wish that texting had never been invented.  Poor grammar, ridiculous spelling, no tone, no inflection.  How could you possibly use this as your main form of communication?  I have no idea.  Maybe this makes me sound really old and unhip, but I always find it a little offensive when people would rather text you than call you.  This especially goes for boys. 

It used to go: Meet someone, hit it off, they ask for your number, they call, you go out, all is well.

Now it goes: Meet someone, hit it off, they ask for your number, they TEXT you, because going to the effort of actually calling would be too much trouble, then a 4 hour text conversation ensues with painful 45 minute interludes, or WORSE, a rapid fire 4 hour text conversation.  I realize that was a really long sentence.

Case and point:  I'm having a text conversation a couple of days ago with someone I recently met, and my last text was an obvious and unmistakable question.  They STILL haven't written back.  That was Sunday night, it's now Tuesday morning.  It wasn't an awkward  'how do I get out of this' question, it was just a normal, plan-making question.  Why?  Now I can't text asking again for fear of looking creepy, but I don't know what the plan is.  Oy.  Irritating.

Hint: Boys, always call a girl first.  Texting is for later.

It's our birthday today!  The best part of working at a relatively new radio station is that you get to have two birthdays a year: yours, and the stations.  This year I got to be in Vegas for my real birthday, which is way better than what I usually get to do- sit at home with a party hat and a Dilly bar, because there aren't enough people there to warrant an ice cream cake.  For the stations birthday we're having a huge shindig at Westerner Park.  I would like this for my own birthday next year.  Do you think they rent out the Centrium for just 6 people?  I'll look into it.

Sleepy LaBeef

DON'T TOUCH!

Heads up folks.  I read this scary story this morning on CTV's website:

"A towering, toxic weed that can burn the skin if touched and even cause blindness is being spotted all across the country and some are worrying the invasive plant is growing out of control.

Giant hogweed, which can grow to 5.5 metres (20 feet), has been popping up just about everywhere this summer, from Vancouver Island -- where it's been a problem for years -- to river banks in Toronto and Ottawa. It's also spreading along roadsides in Nova Scotia and wasteland areas of Newfoundland and Labrador.

Although giant hogweed can be impressive to behold, with its purple, mottled stem, huge leaves, and metre-wide flower head of white blooms, the plant can pose a threat to anyone who touches it without protective clothing.

Small, blister-like pistules on the plant contain a toxic sap that can burn the skin once exposed to sunlight. If the toxin enters the eye, it can burn the cornea, causing temporary or even permanent blindness. "

This is suspicious.  Katy Perry California Gurls mashed with Ke$ha's Tik Tok.  Which is which?

Today is a dark day.  I arrived at work this morning, only to discover the love of my life had promised his life to another woman:

"A week after Jenna Fischer tied the knot, her on-screen husband John Krasinski wed actress Emily Blunt on Saturday in a private ceremony, their reps tell PEOPLE. "

I literally cried out in agony.  How could he do this to me?  Doesn't he know that we are meant to be together?  How could you John?  How could you.  My black and dead heart will never love again. 

I'm going home to put my mourning dress on.  It looks like this:

Stampede starts today!

The Coca Cola Stage is actually pretty awesome this year.  The best is-it's free!  With your gate admission of course. 

Here's the roster:

July 9, 2010

Theory of a Deadman

July 10, 2010

OK Go

July 11, 2010

Barenaked Ladies

July 12, 2010

Stereos

Faber Drive

Marianas Trench

July 13, 2010

Three Days Grace

July 14, 2010

Loverboy

Glass Tiger

July 15, 2010

Raul Malo

Doc Walker

July 16, 2010

OneRepublic

July 17, 2010

Crash Karma

Default

Emmy Nominations Are Out!

OUTSTANDING DRAMA
Lost
Breaking Bad
Dexter
Mad Men
True Blood
The Good Wife

OUTSTANDING COMEDY
Glee
Modern Family
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Nurse Jackie
30 Rock
The Office
Curb Your Enthusiasm

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)
Mariska Hargitay (Special Victims Unit)
Glenn Close (Damages)
Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)
January Jones (Mad Men)
Connie Britton (Friday Night Lights)

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Hugh Laurie (House M.D.)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Matthew Fox (Lost)

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Lea Michele (Glee)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Toni Collette (The United States of Tara)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine)
Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation)

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Matthew Morrison (Glee)
Steve Carell (The Office)
Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
Tony Shalhoub (Monk)

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Chris Colfer (Glee)
Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family)
Jon Cryer (Two and A Half Men)
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
Ty Burrell (Modern Family)

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
John Slattery (Mad Men)
Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad)
Martin Short (Damages)
Terry O’ Quinn (Lost)
Michael Emerson (Lost)
Andre Braugher (Men of a Certain Age)

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Sharon Gless (Burn Notice)
Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)
Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
Rose Byrne (Damages)
Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live)
Jane Krakowski (30 Rock)
Julie Bowen (Modern Family)
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
Holland Taylor (Two and A Half Men)

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW (COMPETITION)
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Dancing with the Has-Beens
Project Runway
Top Chef

OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Kristen Chenoweth (Glee)
Jane Lynch (Two and a Half Men)
Christine Baranski (The Big Bang Theory)
Elaine Stritch (30 Rock)
Tina Fey (SNL)
Kathryn Joosten (Desperate Housewives)
Betty White (SNL)

Hot on the heels of Jake and Vienna's split:

Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski have called off their engagement.  Jillian and Ed told the whole story to Us Weekly, but didn’t make it 100 percent clear whether they are totally done or just putting wedding plans on indefinite hold. “I love him and I’m really sad, but I have to look out for me,” Jillian said. And Ed added, “Jillian isn’t happy and I’m definitely sad about the whole thing, but we got to work through some things on our own if we decide to move forward.”

Surprise, surprise.

How the hell has a show with this terrible of a track record lasted so long?

 

WHOA. Did anyone watch The Bachelorette last night?  That was ridiculous.  I didn't watch the season that ended up with Jake and Vienna together, but I was still pretty passionate last night as I was watching their big throw down.  I wanted to pop Jake in the mouth about 73 times.  What a smug, condescending, jerk.  I don't know if she's a real treat either, but he definitely came off looking worse last night.  Check it out:

Sidebar: Spellcheck just said bachelorette is not a real word.  Is this true?

Yesterday Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs held their annual July 4th hot dog eating contest.  Last year's winner, Joey Chestnut, won again by eating 54 hot dogs.  54 hot dogs.  Delicious.  He was slacking a bit this year though, because last year he at 68.  I was curious as to the rules of hot dog eating...and competitive eating in general.  Wonder no more :

The rules that govern an eating contest are pretty simple. The food to be eaten is either weighed, like cabbage, or cut into uniform pieces, in the case of a pizza-eating contest, for example. No one is allowed to start eating until an official gives the signal. Competitors can eat the food however they want, either breaking it into pieces or just shoving it in. They can dip the food into a liquid (usually water) to make it softer. If the food has different parts, the parts do not have to be eaten together. For example, hot dogs can be eaten separately from their buns. When time expires, any food that is already in the contestant's mouth counts as eaten as long as he or she eventually swallows it.

There's one rather gross question everyone asks about competitive eating -- what happens if someone vomits? IFOCE rules are very clear, though they are very delicate about the terms that they use to describe someone throwing up. Anyone who suffers "a Roman incident" is disqualified if the result of that incident touches the plate or table. Once time has expired, competitors can rid themselves of the massive amount of food they've just eaten however they like.

Instant replay is not used in IFOCE contests -- the ruling of the judges at the time is considered final. This can sometimes lead to controversy. In 2002, record holder Takeru Kobayashi reportedly vomited some hot dog at the Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog-Eating Contest, but held most of it back with his hands until time ran out.

Mmmmmm...Roman incidents.

Well, this is unsettling:

"Giant Whale-Eating-Whale Discovered"

Discovery news had an article this morning about this huge whale that ate other whale friends.  Who does that?  Not your friends man, that's not right.  You don't really need to worry right now though unless A) You're a whale and B) We've travelled back in time 13 million years.

These are the scientific details...because I tend to elaborate if I give the synopsis:

The massive skull and jaw of a 13-million-year-old sperm whale has been discovered eroding from the windblown sands of a coastal desert of Peru.

The extinct cousin of the modern sperm whale is the first fossil to rival modern sperm whales in size — although this is a very different beast, say whale evolution experts.

"We could see it from very far," said paleontologist Olivier Lambert of the Muséum National d'Histoire Naturelle in Paris, France, who led the team which found the fossil.

The giant 3-meter (10-foot) skull of what's been dubbed Leviathan melvillei (in honor of the author of "Moby Dick") was found with teeth in its top and bottom jaws up to 36 centimeters (14 inches) long. The discovery is reported in the July 1 issue of the journal Nature.

Living sperm whales have teeth only in their lower jaws and are specialized to feed on giant squid, Lambert explained. They suck down squid like large spaghetti noodles rather than catch the prey with their teeth. The much toothier fossil sperm whales, however, may have eaten more like a outsized-orca, or killer whale: chomping great big bites out of its prey.

"These are very unusual attributes," said cetacea evolution expert Ewan Fordyce of the University of Otago in New Zealand. "It's remarkably big. That is unexpected."

Another sign that this ancient whale had a killer bite is the large hole in the skull to accommodate a large jaw muscle.

 

My favourite part of the entire thing is the picture.  It looks like something out of my 5th grade social studies text book which I had in 1993, but was made in 1974:

I am a super hardcore fan of Harry Potter.  There, I said it.  You have no idea how pumped I am for this movie to come out.

Have you ever been curious as to what I do in my off time?  Probably not...but just in case, wonder no more.

Today is Wednesday.  I am going on vacation on Friday.  A WEEK long vacation.  I haven't been away for a week in like 8 years.  For real.  That said, I'm finding it very hard to concentrate this week.  My brain has already checked out, and it's only half there most of the time, so it's causing some real problems.  I think that when you book a vacation, you should take off the three days before, and two after as well.  Before, you're too excited, after, you're too exhausted. Do you think I could call in sick tomorrow?

This is the worst thing that has ever happened on television.  Seriously.  The worst.

I am a die-hard True Blood fan.  Last night was the premier of season 3, and our household cut off all connection to the outside world so that we wouldn't be interrupted during such an important time in our lives.  There are several hot men on True Blood, but none so hot as Eric Northman.  Seriously.  The guy is ridiculous.  I want him to pick me up and cradle me in his giant arms.  We haven't seen much of his body as of yet...until last night.  THIS happened:

 

 

The decible level of the shrieks in the house was audible only to our neighbours dog.

Bieber tickets go on sale today!  Sept. 19th in Edmonton, Sept. 20th in Calgary.  Click here for tickets. Who's excited? This guy...(me).  Judge me all you want.  I don't care.  Agree with me?  Check out this video.  Love that kid.

Diesel is unhelpful. Antihelpful? Dishelpful?  I don't know what word should be used, but he is whatever that is.

This morning I was despairing over how I had eaten the last of the giant bag of Jelly Bellys in our office. Diesel says "Why don't you go over to Save On and get some normal sized ones?".  I say, "Because I don't like those ones, they are not even close to the same.".  So he says, "I know, I was just saying that because I knew you wouldn't want them.".  Rude.

 

Other jelly bean thoughts for the day: